Let’s talk about the fear of saying no in business [eeek cringe]. I know, saying no is something I struggle with on the daily. I mean no could lead to FOMO [fear of missing out], really good missed opportunities, falling behind, you name it. But I believe there is so much power in that one word: NO.

The other day, I was chatting with a sweet friend who asked me to share more with her about my business journey. And for a split second, I froze. My business journey? Goodness, most days I’m still fighting this imposter syndrome that paralyzes me to think I have anything to say that’s worth her time.

But as we got together and reminisced on the past few years I was inspired. Not only by her dreams and ambitions, but also by my own.

And I’m not just talking about my future dreams and ambitions, but also my past. So often we get so wrapped up watching other people’s dreams and ambitions unfold that we completely overlook what’s happening in our own lives.

How the Power of Saying No Changed My Life

Throughout our conversation I shared tips and tricks for how I started this little business of mine. But one story in particular gave us both the goosebumps.

Let me take you back to July of 2018. A month that I honestly had chosen to forget, but now know is a month that I need to reflect back on often.

Back in July, I was in complete burnout mode. Months into my business full time and I was saying yes to anything and everything that came my way. Yes to the right clients, but with little to no time to serve them well. I was saying yes to the wrong clients because I had this fear inside me that I would fail if I turned them away. Yes to my family for summer adventurous of boating, golfing and pool time because “I owned my own business and could set my own schedule.”

But the thing was, I had over 40 hours of contract work to get done each and every week and found it nearly impossible to balance it all.

The word YES brought me close to complete burnout.

It was hard. Really hard. And sadly, the word yes made me hate the very business I built within months of getting it off the ground.

And there I was, back in the same boat I was in when I worked in the corporate world. I felt like I was in this constant race of trying to find balance between life and work.

Which is actually ironic because freedom and balance are the very things I pride myself on to provide for my clients. I strive to serve them well so they can get back to doing what they love. To serve them well so they can shut off at 5pm and sit down with their family at dinner. And serve them well so they can take vacations with their family and not feel guilty about the time out of office.

So if that’s what I pride myself on to provide my clients, why couldn’t I figure out that freedom and balance in my own life?

The answer seems simple, but actually was so hard for me to finally admit.

I needed to say no more.

[insert sweaty palms]

This is coming from a girl who hates to disappoint. I’m the type of girl who will hold onto loyalty with everything in her—I’m talking putting in a 3-month notice at my previous corporate event planning job to help produce the gala because I couldn’t live with myself if I left them scrambling months before the big event. This is coming from a girl who never wants to look incompetent. I’m the type of girl who used to wonder often what others would think before putting my own happiness first.

Yes, was always easier. Even if in the end it was harder. Can you relate?

As July wrapped up and I knew something needed to end I had a come-to-Jesus moment with my husband. I needed to learn to say no, or this business was never going to be sustainable. I couldn’t let the fear of not providing enough financially cause him to carry all of the duties around the house while I sent just one more email or finished just one more project.

Fear was ruining everything.

And that’s when the goosebump moment happened. I realized I needed to let go of a client whom I adored. She was a mentor to me and has been for years. I adore her mission, her team and everything she stands for. But the workload I was putting in for the pay I was getting out was causing me stress, a lot of one more projects instead of eating dinner with my husband.

I needed to let her go during this time in my business. Along with two other smaller clients.

It was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had. But she gave me so much grace and proved to me the incredible woman that she is. And after our time together, I was relieved. Relieved to know that God provides women into my life who respond in this way, and relieved to feel balanced again.

But here is the part of the story that gets really good.

That same day, hours after getting off that last call with my client, my husband walked through the door and announced he was promoted within his company.

The thing about this crazy-goosebump-makes-me-cry-just-thinking-about-it moment?

His promotion was the exact dollar amount per month that I just said no to.

[you can’t make this kind of stuff up people!]

This love is the power of no.

No, it doesn’t happen like this every single time—dollar for dollar.  But saying no will always open up an even better opportunity in the right timing. You just need to free up the space and energy within you to actually see it.

Greg McKeown says it best in his New York Times Bestseller, “Essentialism” :

“Once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter.” – Greg McKeown

That day I said my first big no for my business, I said my first big yes to getting balance back into my life.

YOUR TURN

What are some things you could say no to in business that would free your time to say yes to the most important things?